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09 October 2016 @ 03:10 am
Hello everyone!

It's time for a new writing prompt. Before I post one, just a reminder that if you need anything, please leave a comment on this post. Comments are screened and either chendamoni or I will respond as soon as possible.

In addition, please remember the formatting rules for all entries posted. This is a community for unsent letters - please have all posts formatted as "Dear {x},". Your letters should be written with the assumption that the recipient will not read them.

For a writing exercise if you're seeking inspiration:
It's impossible to talk about the state of the world today without talking about politics - in the US, the UK, and anywhere else. But politics doesn't have to be limited to an angry discussion on social media or at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Our current and future world leaders have the power to shape the destiny of the future to their whims. Write a letter to them about the future you want to live in that they can create or a part of the present that you wish we would leave behind as a society. You're welcome to be specific if you wish and name politicians, but please note that this is not a political forum and discussions/arguments/etc don't really belong here.

Any suggestions you have for future writing prompts are welcome. Feel free to leave a comment below with an idea.

Happy writing!
25 February 2017 @ 03:15 am
Dear Cindy,

So I have been going through a lot and this love I had for you is diminishing because you are swimming toward another man. You recently told me that you cheated on me and it was on feb 19 when you told me... we went separate ways at the beginning of the year but we was both dilusional about it until feb hit and I was struck with pain and misery with out her and our dog. I've asked you if you would be so kind enough to take me back or atleast for 6 months to prove you that I did you wrong and will keep you happy... is this the right choice??? Just because I thirst for your attention, love, voice, and affection.

What do I do? That's all I'm asking...

(She said she would try but every time I notice she is talking to this guy behind my back or is not really willing to try. But this is only day 5 of this 6 months of progress of improving to you.)
20 February 2017 @ 04:04 am
Up all night

Awake all day

Stuck in my head

Thinking it all through

Replaying each step

Of how I lost you

I never had you

Maybe once I did

After each mistake

You never forgave

Just made me pay

Happy with revenge

Alone with regret

Put on a smile

Everything is going to be okay
18 February 2017 @ 10:18 pm
Dear Josh,

Honestly, most of the time, I don't think about you or have enough feelings to warrant this type of hurtful expression, but tonight I'm going to let myself let it out.

You were awful to me. You dragged me down to build yourself up. You worry about becoming your father, but you are your father. I was smart enough not to have a child with you, and that's the only reason you're not also a deadbeat father.

I'm seeing Frank, now. Of all the men, it's definitely Frank. Certainly, it didn't happen on purpose, but he is easily ten times the man you will ever be.

Speaking of him being ten times the man. He's big. And while I'm here, on that subject, you were awful. The sex was not good. You need to get that figured out, because your whole inability to go down on someone without making them feel guilty about it because you don't like it? Its not going to get you anywhere in life.

15 February 2017 @ 03:27 pm

Dear brandon,
You fucked me up more then I could ever admit to myself. I sat there and told you before WE begang that my heart has been hurt too many times and if your end game was just to leave, then stay away to begin with. You assured me time after time that I was what you wanted.
So I gave everything up for you, I gave up my job my family my friends and I move 9 hours away from everyone and everything I knew..You awoke a live within me I didn't know I could feel, when I was sick you ran me a bubble bath and made sure I was tooken care of, when I went to the hospital I told you all I wanted was some cookies.you were away but somehow made my wish come true. U ordered me cookies and had them delivered to me, u asked me what was the one show I could watch over and over. I said dharama and Greg..U bought it for me..Which I know it wasn't easy to find that. U made sure I never wanted for nothing when we wanted a dog the cost was nothing we got a beautiful American bully. I drive 5 hours with 3 kids to pick her up. I loved that dog so much. I trained her and you took the credit for it..I didn't even care.
All the BBQs we had the Apple pies..The love making..The talks about the future, buying a house together...WTF happened??? I was ready. We went on vacation so that u could spend time with ur kids. I stayed at my friends so u could be foucused on just them. I found out u kissed the mother of ur children tjat weekend. I was crushed but willing to forgive u because it was a kiss anyone can get caught up in a moment of time...I know. But instead of talking about it we just fought literally our frist and last fight the next day u rented me a car to go back home. And that was it.
To this day I rack my brain trying to figure out WTF happened..I guess in my heart I know. I was just there to make Kerri Heloise enough to come back to you. Good job. It worked out for u...It didn't for me. U destroyed my heart and my life. U broke up with me over a damn text and left me with literally nothing I hope u and her are fucking misable..But I know that u are not because that is what u wanted. Now I can't love. I can't trust for 2 years I've been with the same guy and I still can't let him fully in and I can't love him the way he deserves. U should have just left me the fuck alone. Real talk. Thanks for fucking me up more then u had to thanks for stealing me and my child's stuff thanks for all the hurt. I saw u the other day by chance..U look like shit..In ur eyes u look sadden...Good. I hope u feel like that all the time. U broke me a little more then I already was.
12 February 2017 @ 07:31 pm
Dear you who is haunted by your own monsters,

Letting Go.... I am talking about everything you have ever let go of, about to let go, and the things you are letting go... I am talking about the good and bad, new and old, favourite and addictive, everything..... It maybe deleting a 90's song from your playlist or ending a 2 year old relationship.

Firstly, the change is what affects us. It kills us. It/They have always been a part of us. Irrespective of the time, it had blend into your soul. You have had an undescriptive love for it. The sudden change is worse; it is unexpectedly thundering. I do feel better sometimes to think that I knew that I was about to depart from it. I had enough time to absorb the truth. But, it is more painful that I had missed the chance to change things I was capable of.

That brings us to the next immediate effect: Weak. Losing strength. Almost all of us would have realised that body and mind are interwoven, only after experiencing departure. Along with the love/person/thing/relationship, you lose your strength- both physical and mental. When a part of you disappears, you feel empty- literally. You sometimes wish you'd never wake up. There is something heavy inside you- your body. Breathing becomes difficult. You can hardly feel or hear your heartbeat. You can't feel your legs. It's like you have been put into someone else's body. And the worst- you are unable to speak, let alone cry or shout. The first remedy itself becomes inaccessible. You get choked- by some unknown force. And after that first tear falls, a chain reaction happens.

With nobody to wipe it. And you don't know what is worse- not having anyone to lean shoulders or forcibly making someone see you being sober and worried.

Now.. You search things... You seek some distraction. Anything that can relieve you from your thoughts. Something else than staring at ceilings and photos. You feel a deceptive strength. You search for people, places, exercises, dance, art, drugs, blogs, or another form of the thing you lost. You fail many times. As Lang Leav quotes- Forgetting is just another form of remembering. Everything feels stupid and meaningless.

You are desperate.
You are tired.

You get used to pain.. Get used to missing the love. Get used to having ugly eyes and a face you hate. You don't want to forget it now. You learn to live with it. Though, it doesn't make you any better.


You come out, reluctantly. See the world, differently. And now you discover what you sought. You discover where it went wrong, after all. For some reason, you become a different person. The whole experience, although not finished, had changed you. For the worse or better- nobody knows. This change is the most significant part. You either become kinder, generous, and loving or silent, on-point, and hard-working or funny, social, expressive and courageous or angry, tired, and averted. I won't say which is right and wrong. These are just ways or changes that cannot be found with combinatorics.

You finally learn. Learn- not to forget, but to LET GO.. You finally learn to live with or without it. You find your preferences. You find purpose. A sense of belonging- to yourself, and not to the universe. You bring up facts that you dislike about what you have let go or the pros of letting it go- to feel better. And this time, you do feel better. The emptiness doesn't get filled. It stays with you as a part of you..

And that's how you let go......
#SpreadLove #PositiveVibes

( Check the full entry at http://subhiksha.livejournal.com/2614.html )
10 February 2017 @ 01:19 pm
Dear You,

What the hell kind of half-assed rejection is? Ghosting on me after I poured my heart out into a love letter that took me a month to write. I wrote six drafts, SIX. And it took you a week to even read it because you just shoved it in a bag. Well fuck you too then.

I can't take the mixed messages and shit anymore. If you'd straight up said "I just want to be friends" then I probably could have dealt with that, but lately you don't even seem to value my friendship. It hurts seeing you at gigs, at parties, in my Facebook feed. I'm glad you're doing so well and I still miss our project together, but I don't want to go back to working with you knowing that you pretty much don't want anything to do with me outside of that.

Regardless of whether you're actually as social inept as you claim, you can't deny that you constantly ignoring my calls, and not giving a shit about my letter, is hurting me. If you don't wanna deal with that, fine, but I'm not gonna sit around and wait. Obviously it sucks because we have so much in common, and I've never met someone else with multiple personalities before. I can't help but feel this is a missed opportunity. There's so much I wanted to learn from you, and still do. It's been a long, long time since I actually wanted to connect with someone like I do with you, and you don't seem to appreciate that.

I hope that one day we can work together again and make the amazing films we said we would, but for now I need to get you out of my system and focus on my own shit. I'm going to New Zealand with Dave for 3 weeks. I hope your new gig goes well, and maybe when I get back I'll have mustered the nerve to finally give you the punch in the guts I've been supressing since your bullshit last Halloween.

From the bottom of my bruised heart,

Your angel
Mood: heartbroken
09 February 2017 @ 09:04 am
Dearest B,

I noticed today that you unfriended me from Facebook. That cut a little deep. With all the miles between us it was the only way that would ever talk again. I had come to terms with never seeing you again, it was hard but necessary. It's not like either of us would cross an ocean just to see an ex.

I understand why you did it. Posting about the new guy was probably a little harsh so soon after we called the engagement quits, but you have to understand I meant no disrespect to you. Long distance is a funny thing and we should have really been done long ago. I loved you, but I needed to be happy and to live my life for myself. In the end it wasn't meant to be.

I know it's childish, and naive but I had hoped we could remain friends. Seven years of two against the world leaves a mark no matter how hard we try to act like it doesn't.
Maybe one day you'll talk again. I know you said that you never want to even speak to me again but I hope you'll change your mind. You're an awesome person, just not the person for me.
08 February 2017 @ 10:17 pm
Dear you,
You were my second friend on Livejournal. I thought we'd be friends forever. Even though you were a decade younger than I, I looked up to you. You were so cool, savagely funny and you knew all the good classical haiku poets and could discuss them in relationship to Cocteau. You would have made a good lesbian, leather jacket, dorky cap, wifebeater t-shirt, and Brownian-motion harem of all the chillest young women. I dumped my boyfriend when I saw that the crush he had on you was exactly the crush he had on me, and that he really loved me the way you loved friends in college, not like either he or I wanted him to love a wife, and he so obviously wanted a forever partner! Now I don't do boys and neither he nor his wife talk to either of us. When the family of the serial rapist I helped put in prison was threatening my life, everyone gasped and clutched their pearls and told me I was being a bit silly, no-one gets murdered in these civilized modern times. You told me that if anything happened to me, you would take the bitch responsible down. We drank together. I think I knew more about scotch, but I let you fake and you forgave me for spotting it.

I don't talk to you any more. You were intimately enmeshed in the part of my life I feel the most and most justifiable shame for. Everything about that time, especially who I was and what I was, feels completely toxic.

Today, I saw you had deleted that journal. End of an era, compadre. I hope you are doing well. I hope you kept your stories. You were a good writer.

I wish I could forget me, at least from the time I knew you, but I will never forget you, and of that, I am glad.

Je t'aime bien, mon frere. I want to say goodbye, but I know in my gut we'll meet again. I'll be the one in the Dietrich tux.

08 February 2017 @ 09:46 pm

Dear M

You didn't believe in higher powers and probably wouldn't appreciate the fact that you are mine. I hope you'll forgive me when I tell you it has made me a better person. Whenever I'm at a crossroads, I think "what would M do?" And usually, the thought leads to better behaviour on my part.

Its been nearly a year since you were taken from us. You left such a hole in so many hearts, and yet your heart continues to beat in another body. Such a typical "M" gesture, you being your last gift to the world. I guess you live on, both literally and in spirit.

You loved red wine and women's shoes. I'll always remember the conversation we had ten years ago, when walking home from school. When you were rich, you told me, you would commission an entire wall of stilettos for your bedroom. Stilettos were so beautiful. You resented the social constructs that forbid you to wear them.

I hope you are at peace, wherever you are. I hope you know that your love touched a million lives. I try to spread your message on organ donation whenever possible: you thought it was selfish not to list yourself. Whenever someone crosses me, I try to see things from their perspective. Your death made me realise life was bigger and more beautiful than I could ever imagine.

When I am rich, I promise you I will build your wall.


Your cousin.

Mood: sadsad
07 February 2017 @ 08:52 pm
I have realized that you almost always make a point to talk to me or at least notice me when we are at work. I was upset because you didn't come to my party. I just don't understand why you don't want to see me outside of work. I am not sure if you're not available or if you are shy and trying to feel out the waters.

But I am going to make sure I match your point and maybe.... maybe we can see where this can go from there. I really hope I see you Saturday.
07 February 2017 @ 08:18 pm
I feel like I have been a jerk lately. I have seen you twice thus far this year. The first time, I didn't talk to you because I was a bit upset and I was also coming down sick. I didn't want you to get sick. The last time I was there, there was a lot of people there, and I really wasn't feeling too talkative. Being an introvert is hard sometimes.

For the longest time, I took my dog for a walk around 2, knowing I would see you drive down the main road in town on your way to work. I hadn't done it all month last month. Poor Penelope had to go yesterday at 2... I walked her to the park, where I usually take her, and you were driving down the street where I was at. I don't think you saw me--you didn't acknowledge me. But when I saw you, the butterflies were there.

Today, I went Valentine's day shopping, mostly for my niece and nephew. Notice the word "mostly". I bought you a card. I also got you a can of Pringles, Salt and Vinegar, because I notice you like those a lot. And a little box of chocolates. I am not really sure if I am going to give them to you. I want to, but I am so scared. I am so scared of putting myself out there. I am so scared to fall and get hurt. But I think you fear the same thing.

I signed the list to work Saturday. I am not sure if I am working yet or not--they have not called me. If I do work, there is a shot I might not see you at all, as I may only work 8 hours, instead of 12. I am contemplating putting your gifts in your locker Saturday. But I just wish I could sit down and talk to you.
05 February 2017 @ 06:59 pm
Dear You,

I've been listening to a lot of songs lately. The breakup kind. And I've been kind of disappointed. The emotions I'm feeling in regards to the breakup are that
a.) it didn't happen at all soon enough
b.) my life without you is amazing
And I've been having trouble finding any songs like that. I definitely am not experiencing any sort of hard feelings towards you. I feel more nothingness, and sometimes I feel sorry for you. But most songs that express this "wow I'm better off" sentiment, also express strong feelings of resentment.

That being said, I feel these things also need to be said:

-I realize I was a shitty girlfriend to you at times. A lot of that, I understand, was caused by our incompatibility. But other times it was caused by your lack of maturity.
-In our relationship, either you were completely ambivalent, or you were jealous. You gave little trust but expected droves of it in return.
-You need to grow up, and quickly. If you don't, you're going to be miserable for a long, long time.
-You made me feel the need to shrink down to your level in order to assuage your self-hatred.
-You only seemed happy when you were in a position to feel above me in some sort of way. When you were able to tell yourself that perhaps you were smarter than I am.
-You never believed in me. You said that it came from a place of exhaustion, because so many times I failed before. But, I think the reason I failed was because of you (see above). And in spite of the fact that you always, always gave up, I was always your biggest cheer leader. I do feel a small twinge of resentment when I think about that.
-You really, really are nothing more than your father's son. And you feel you are so much better than he is because you are childless, but you are amounting to nothing more than what he is. And the fact that you are childless, let me remind you, was 100% on me, as you refused to take part in any method of birth control.

I think I can finally say that I'm seeing someone, instead of saying that I'm just hanging out with them (you know how important verbiage is to me, and I know how much you hated that), and it makes me sad that they think I'm so amazing, and how new that feeling is. Well, I mean, the last six months, I have known myself that I am amazing. I have grown to love and appreciate myself and how fantastic I am. But someone else agreeing with that? It's sad to me that you would be with someone for so long who you didn't think was amazing. It's sad to me that I did the same.
03 February 2017 @ 02:47 pm
So the love of my life texted me last night.
The scorned woman wanted to let me know once more how shitty I am.
How she doesn't want me, hates that she loves me.
Most importantly how she is about to fuck somebody I know.
I haven't seen this creature in two years.
The demon never fails to remind me monthly/weekly about my mistakes.
I told my friend I'm going to kill her then myself.
I would rather spend an eternity burning than dealing with her.
But then I'll miss her too much.
Maybe I like the pain she brings.
I don't want to be with the reaper.
But I feel I'll always love the Siren.
24 January 2017 @ 04:50 pm
Dear ... ,
I have a boyfriend with my future written all over him. But I cant help to think we were meant to be together. You didnt fight for me which is funny because thats all I did for you. But now you have a girlfriend and I have no choice but to except that fact. I honestly am glad we parted ways. If we were still together Id be another young statistical cliche girl to have lost her virtue. But that is a great example of how I know God loves me. He broke us up even though it hurt and that is clearly the reality of our society. Anyways I just wrote this to say, everytime I see you your spirit gets worse. Im going to pray for you, I will always be there and I will always love you.
Sincerly Brown
Mood: relievedrelieved
24 January 2017 @ 02:37 pm
The ocean that separates us is so big I can barely think of it, so different lives we are leading and I'm not there to take care of you. I once read that there's nothing more painful than two souls that are meant to be together and they are separated by things they can't control and this is definitely our case, this world, this so-called system only breaks people, ruins lives, I can't believe I got sent back to my country just because those authorities in your country were just so...harsh is the word? they didn't care for my well being and I believe you are the only one that does so, this is one of the many reasons why I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you gave me a new perspective, understanding, and we grew so close to one another, sometimes I felt annoyed that you overprotected me so much or made me look like a child in front of others but I know you didn't mean it badly, you only care for me. I know I can be annoying at times but I hope we learn to forgive each other as we are humans and we are not perfect. I miss you so strongly.

People think that they are free but they are not really. They live in an illusion... I wish what happened to us never happens to anyone else.

Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
24 January 2017 @ 10:55 pm
I'm sorry I didn't spend my extra days off working on that mis-en-scene essay. I had a very important love letter to write. As my essay is about Wes Anderson I feel like I should be forgiven, if not given extra credit, for fully immersing myself in his world of whimsical old-fashioned romance.

Your erratic but wholeheartedly enthusiastic student,
23 January 2017 @ 02:04 am

Dear you,

I’m drowning and where are you.

Read more...Collapse )
15 January 2017 @ 09:45 am

Dear Darling (I hope my dream never haunted you),

It’s easy to say nothing. It’s harder to try to form the words, to pull the veil down just enough, to get across what I want you to know without divulging too much.

But I get used to the silence. To the emptiness, the sound of my own voice echoing back to me from across the nothing. When you’re actually listening, everything tumbles out, and I’m left scrambling to grab up the pieces I’m meant to keep to myself. In the smallest of moments, my guts fall to the floor, like offerings to some blood god, and I’m left shaken and red in the face, my hands slippery and incapable of snatching them back before you see all their little imperfections.

I think part of the problem is that there are two versions of us. Sure, we exist here, in the now, but in my mind, there’s a fresh-faced 18-year-old girl and a world-weary 17-year-old man, and they’re colliding. Her eyes light up, seeing the entire world for the first time; he’s taken aback by her exuberance, the strange way she’s tearing herself open in front of him, desperately digging inside of herself with her fingers, proffering her bloody insides, and watching his eyes for acknowledgment… as if it isn’t morbid, as if it isn’t setting the stage on fire. And she’s never disappointed, not even once, not even when he scolds her. He steps forward uncertainly, puts her back together, and for the first time in the entirety of her existence, she feels whole, understood, beautiful. The entire universe explodes with possibility and seems more full than it ever has before, and she is soothed, despite the wondering ache in her chest. Suddenly, there is meaning that wasn’t there before. Hope for something beautiful and true and eternal.

And I still am that girl, clinging to that feeling, still trying to shove my heart and entrails into your shaking hands for safekeeping; oblivious to the fact that you can’t hold onto them… that maybe you don’t want to.

So, I’m sorry for the mess. I’ll try to clean up after myself, and be more careful about where I spill things in the future.

-Yours always.

09 January 2017 @ 04:32 pm
Know your worth. You are a beautiful person. I know you like him. I know you hurt because you like him. But apparently, he is a player. Be strong and courageous, but also still and gentle. Be confident in yourself and kind to others--remember, they are all fighting a fight you can't see.

It is okay to search for love, but remember to love yourself and enjoy the solitude. You are more than enough. You are beautiful. You are lovely. And you are worthy.
07 January 2017 @ 08:37 pm
I hate your mixed signals. You flirt at work but won't call or meet me outside of work. Today, I knew I was headed to your building. Part of me wanted to see you. Part of me hoped you worked Monday, so I wouldn't see you. I admit I was hurt you didn't come to my party. But I was trying to look past it. Then, about 1 pm, I came down with this horrible headache. I took some medicine, but it didn't kick it. So by the time you actually got to work, I was feeling miserable.

You were trying to be you--Mr. Personality. Sweet, charming, cute and super flirty. Smiling and saying hi as you had to do some computer work near me. I barely acknowledged you, slightly smiling--partially from the pain, partially because I was holding a grudge. It became obvious that you were upset that I didn't come sit by you at break--I was taking some extra medicine to try to kick the headache. As I was headed out for the evening, I barely had a voice. You made eye contact with me as I past your work station and said, "Bye." I waved, and continued to walk on. My throat had started to get sore in addition to the headache. You never go toward your locker at 7--you usually use the restroom and grab your lunch, as it is your usual time to eat. Instead, you came to the locker area, and stopped to talk to Darin. However, I could tell it was small talk--all eyes were on me. I walked past you and you said, "Bye, Dear." I barely could say "Bye" as I clocked out for the night.

Now, I kinda feel like an ass. I hate feeling like the bad guy. But I know nothing is ever going to come of us. I hate the mixed signals you give.
06 January 2017 @ 08:15 pm
Dear you,

Today, I realized that every single lover I've had since we got together was taken to get away from you. Mostly to get over you or stop going back to you (didn't work), aduring some part of our death-of-a-thousand-cuts ten-year breakup; once, to punish myself. That's almost twenty years, nothing but running from you.

When I stopped needing to get over you, I stopped taking lovers.

I am happy we are over, I am happy you are happy, and mostly, I am just happy.

I'm not sure where I am going with this. For some reason, I thought you'd like to know. Can't TELL you that, but... well. I'm told the Vulcan word for "it is what it is" is kaiidth. Good bye, you big nerd, enjoy real love.

I have been, and always will be,
01 January 2017 @ 08:17 pm
Welcome to 2017. I know last year was a whirlwind of a year for you. You are much stronger than you realize. Here is a recap of some of the things you achieved last year:

1. You got a new job. And you love it.

2. You went back to college (online) after taking a 16-year hiatus. Not only did you go back to school, you did it at the same time you got a new job and didn't have a set schedule. You did amazing your first semester back.

3. You walked out of a dead-end relationship. It hurt and it took you 5 and a half years to realize it was never going to go anywhere, but you gracefully walked out of that horrible situation.

4. You have made new friends. This year, you need to weave a thicker, tighter connection with those friends.

5. You lost A LOT of weight! You look incredible. Keep up the great work. :)
31 December 2016 @ 01:12 pm
So I invited you to my New Year's Eve party. I am not sure if you are going to come. My friend said, "He said sounds good but what's your address? We're bad at directions lol" but I am doubting you will show up this evening. Which saddens me, but I'll get over it. I have realized apparently nothing will materialize between us, as you won't persue me. Sure, you flirt when you see me, but I have given you my number a few times and you won't call or try to hang out--despite you saying you would like to hang out sometime.

So, I guess this is how I leave the ball in your court. I am going to try not to think about you or write about you and move on.
Mood: melancholymelancholy